Just add water: architecture startups!

PUNCHlist: often makes you want to punch something
February 13, 2014, 9:02 pm
Filed under: Startup

Punchlists can go on for (what seems like) for e v e r… especially when you’re dealing with high-end residential clients. While many clients can be totally reasonable, appreciative, intelligent well intentioned human beings – the home is the zone where the crazy man comes out…and all the neurosis come out in full force.

My favorite part is writing up the crazy demands into an actual list. The task becomes “how-do-I-make-this-insane-request-NOT-sound-as-bonkers-as-it-is”  Some might liken it to poetry…y’know, just short of pulitzer prize winning.  Others might just take a comedic approach.  It’s all a creative endeavor.

I’ve compared some of my crazy punchlist with other colleagues, and compiling some good ones:

  • CLIENT COMMENT: “When I poop, the poop slides around the toilet bowl edges and leaves marks”
  • ARCHITECT THOUGHT: “WTF why are you telling me about your skids in the bowl? dude. TMI”
  • ARCHITECT TRANSLATION: “Contractor to replace toilet”
  • CLIENT COMMENT: “OH. I didn’t realize the closet doors in this bedroom looks a little wider than the closet doors in the other one. I can imagine my kids getting really upset that one kid’s bedroom doors are bigger than the others”
  • ARCHITECT THOUGHT: uh, you don’t have any kids. and if you’re gonna have them, don’t raise them to obsess over 2″ difference.
  • ARCHITECT TRANSLATION: Contractor to shave doors down 2″ in bedroom 02, replace door jamb to fit. Doors 02 to match door 01 width.
  • CLIENT COMMENT: “The column just doesn’t quite have the same finish as what I want. I want it to look like the back of an ipad”
  • ARCHITECT THOUGHT: Go buy yourself another ipad, and stare at it instead of the column. Get over it.
  • ARCHITECT TRANSLATION: Contractor to refinish column cover; control sample: IPAD backcover
  • CLIENT COMMENT: “So I took a shower in the bathroom and realized the shower head only swivels about 23deg.  It doesn’t hit the back of my head right.”
  • ARCHITECT THOUGHT: so, turn your head.
  • ARCHITECT TRANSLATION: Contractor to replace showerhead.

I’m sure you guys have seen some and heard some good ones.  Let’s hear ’em!!  Poetry slam contest!


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